Friday, February 28, 2003
simply makes me smile =)
-beamms- im a happy girl today! i got a one distinction for my chinese! alrights mens! im really happy for wyn too! like she was about to bite her thumb off or something before the results was announced. her efforts paid off. she was mugging for like full two weeks before the paper. and for once in a long long long long while. once in a blue purple pink red moon. we hugged. lol. with valtoh coming to join in. so it was a trio hug. -smiles- but why am i not surprised valtoh got one distinction. [[valtoh. lasalle international posted me some stuff. bout their schedules and stuff. dont ask me how they got my add and stuff. cuz ive no idea. lol. will share it with you. =) aint i sucha nice girlfriend?]] hahas. but, exferd! love ya lots still! -feels mushy all over like that lil note some time back- hahas. cringe cringe cringe. like thank god! really. really. we all prayed as a class before the results came out. whoah. prayer is a wonderful weapon. -huggs jesus- god youre like the king of the best! and my pherd got thirteen pts! minus four. so she's a nine pointer! lalas. anointing will flow. hahas. i'll be as smart as her. im proud to have her as my pherd. not only because she's smart. but the vey fact that she has such a prayerful and focused life just makes me look up to her in awe.
anyways. reached home an hour ago. went to california novena to discuss the debate stuff supposedly with pei char ser. but we got lil things done. -points finger at char and ser and pei- its all you guys fault. lols. bahh. wont go into detail what ser did. totally irritating. and i didnt get to drink the last bit of my tea. -sulkks- oh wells, it was a nice night out though. but my handphone bill is just gonna burst big time. today is fridae nite you see. oh wells. wasnt exactly a happy night smsing on my way home. some people can really be a... alrights. ron youve to be more christlike remember? be slow to anger. -breathes in deep- phew. serving god is not always a bed of roses but the door will open when you knock, remember ron?
it's pioneer badge test tomms. -feels my heart thumpin- god i gotta pass the first round k? then i can make it to wfl. i need to get a completed wordperk card!!! and tomms the last lesson. i cant miss that face. wyn's gonna like see that face twice a week! -glances over to wyn and pouts- hahas. [[wyn. you cant pout back at me. cause i know you cant. hahahas]] and no. please do not flick that pony (pun seriously intended) tail of yours into my face. thanks. it's unhygenic according to that lady on the bus, remember? lols. okay. i so gotta make it for the last wfl lesson. ive to hear all the teachings. it's like so important to me. so god. help me tomms with the pioneering stuff yea? -smiles- can you hear his voice echoing "i will i will i will i will...-fades off-" hahas. pardon my lameness in this long entry. all thanks to the three nutcases at dinner.
][jukebox][ liberty x- holding on for you
][feeling][ grateful.
bitinn` awayy at 7:59 AM
Thursday, February 27, 2003thats drivin me crazie
-breaths in deep- tomms' the release of the chinese o results. god. i really pray id do well. there's like this so big difference between a one point and four points. gosh. i cant help but feel my blood rushing up into my brains. the next semifinal debate motion is "this house would ban experimentation on animals". and im on the opposition side. the materialistic side. again! sheesher. and char's team's doing proposition. theyre like the true blue environmentalists. bleahhs. wonder if yogs jess and i would make a good team. i seriously think yangs is good as a first speaker. and she'll come in again if we get into the finals. but. if we dont get into the finals she wont get a chance to speak again. oh wells. ive a million things waiting for me to do. im halfway through my discursive essay. not started with am nineteen. twenty. twentyone. not finished with planning nebthree's growth. gotta research on the debate stuff. practise my for my pioneer badge test on sat. and so on and so forth. bahhh.
][jukebox][ sound of music soundtrack - my favourite things
][feeling][ apprehensive.
bitinn` awayy at 6:53 AM
Wednesday, February 26, 2003what can i say bout 4diligiants but we simply rawk to the kore! hahas. both out debate teams won. woo hoo. im glad to say i did put in my best effort. our debate was the only one where the results werent announced on the spot but. check this out. lol. under the announcements. alrights. my nerves were trembling after the debate cos it was really a good fight though there werent any clash. i really felt super great when i rolled my eyes at the opposition team when i mentioned bout the "please be fair to the fishes". thanks yogs for that brilliant move. i mean i was like trembling away in front of the mic and the whole room was like filled with wisdom people? but when i did my reply speech i saw nette in the midst of the wisdom people. i dont know why but i just kept looking over to her. her attention gave me assurance. -huggs nette tightly- and i think yangs really did a marvellous opening speech. im so proud of her! im really glad that liane picked up from where she faultered. anyways, im just happy for four diligence. -smiles-
][jukebox][ deana carter - what makes you stay
][feeling][ -
bitinn` awayy at 3:05 AM
Sunday, February 23, 2003slowly. the door creaked open. and the little girl whispered for a heart to make its exit. all was still. all was quiet. everything felt numb. the heart was not beating anymore. it didnt live for her. she walked over to it with tears streaming down her cheeks and nudged for it to go away. silently, she shut the door behind it. it's out now. it's free to fly. while she goes back to a corner and chases after her own fantasies. it was all never meant to be two hearts beating as one. it was definitely a mistake to say if anything were two it'd be them. -shakes head- what a huge mistake.
bitinn` awayy at 6:50 AM
He'll take them all
my blog is just too sad. oh wells. at least some nice stuff happened today. went to the park behind my house with xiuhui meiyan and rongyao to let out our stress. xiuhui was trying to blade. but she had a great fall. met donavan and we all played see-saw. so childish huh. and here's some math about our weights.
me+donavan = rongyao+meiyan
me+donavan+rongyao < meiyan+xiuhui
me+rongyao = meiyan+donavan
oh wells. and the list goes on and on. god. i need to be more happy. shucks.
][jukebox][ para para soundtrack - here in my heart
][feeling][ -
bitinn` awayy at 3:57 AM
Saturday, February 22, 2003ive no idea why but it just hurts. its like a cycle that goes on and on. people quarrel and make up and all's well. but the next moment, the quarrelling starts. it's like the chicken and egg question. how did it all begin?
][jukebox][ vanessa williams - the sweetest days
][feeling][ -
bitinn` awayy at 8:27 AM
Friday, February 21, 2003
is it too much to ask for?
bitinn` awayy at 7:53 AM
Thursday, February 20, 2003still waiting. for the day where i'll smile. my heart's smile.
][jukebox][ -
][feeling][ -
bitinn` awayy at 7:12 AM
Wednesday, February 19, 2003watch the stars dance.the moonbeams rejoice. the fantasy of it all entranced by the the sight beyond the world. fatal illusion dances before your eyes before you are stricken and the pain leaves your eyes, your mind clears, instantaneously, giving you the few seconds only to realize your fate and what all is held in store. watered-down promises drip into your bittersweet veins, coursing your body like a river. the stars above the river twinkling for what they know not. tarnished reality comes in forms of silver fingertips dancing light on the aged old wall. smooth bumps of cold steel pierces the magical bubble of light. grey and blue shadows interfere with the sun's natural rays, blocking the artificial dreams that come with the bittersweet sun. close your eyes for the sweet sensation of the blissful spinning, the muted screams now almost non-existant, and the fantasys that are always just out of reach. vacant pleas of mercy are what they are, nothing to ever been seen, heard, felt, or acknowledged. slow scanlines blur your vision, cascading down in front of your eyes, almost translucent yet still very present and again you live the life-long dream of being forever grounded in the land of fantasy, dreams, hopes and wishes that never dare to come true.
bitinn` awayy at 7:49 AM
dear lord,
tonight as i whisper my prayer to you with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, i want to surrender my life to you. i want you to take control of it. i realised i cant fix a broken heart, a broken family or a broken friendship myself. i dont have the strength to fight anymore. i shouldnt be fighting. instead i should be resting in the shadows of your wings. yet i still havent learnt to fall totally into your arms. the pain cuts so deep into my heart, it hurts. my prayer today is for the divorce papers, resting on that table in the room where darkness glooms, never to be touched. much less, signed. my prayer today is for this still and quiet house to be filled with love, truth, peace and joy. my prayer today is for you to hammer down the walls of defence built around the perimeter of the two truest hearts that belong to two of the most important people of my life. my prayer today is for you to comfort me to sleep and wipe my tears away every night when the stars hide themselves behind the misty clouds. my prayer today is for you to fill me, this empty vessel, and use it for your kingdom. god, here is you child, down on her knees. just let me breathe in your breath of life that fills my heart once again.
this in jesus' name i pray, amen.
][jukebox][ steven curtis chapman - when love takes you in
][feeling][ broken.
bitinn` awayy at 7:30 AM
Monday, February 17, 2003
that took my breath away.
anyways. the past few days have been decision-making ones where ive decided to grow in certain areas of my character and stuff. i really gotta stick wwjd posters everywhere at home already. and it's time i address my cg on many issues. -frowns- and i wanna make it a point to stay online less. so everyone if you see me online for too long a period of time, pls shoo me off! help me while i work on having more self-discipline. and think more christlike.
][jukebox][ avril lavigne - tonight and forever
][feeling][ sick.
bitinn` awayy at 7:29 AM
Thursday, February 13, 2003im going out on a date for valentines' tomms! and the best part is... ive two dates! -grinns- -pats both of their lil heads- ai ni men duo duo!!! yikes. -beamms- anyways, happy vday to all. been rather broke lately. so if you dont get a vdae gift from me this year unlike the past years, i apologise alrights? but if youre really desperate for one you can tell me and you could request for a hug or kiss. lol. but i do selective kissing. hahas. pardon my madness. im just feeling too joyful after reading bout the wonders in heaven and what god has in store for his children. -beamms- i surely feel honored to be one of his precious. -smiles- perhaps He is the only valentine that could brighten up my everyday to be a valentine's day. -runs with a lil teddy bear in my hands into his embrace- -snuggles snuggles snuggles- hahas.
][jukebox][ vineyard - im your beloved
][feeling][ super duper booper beeper hyper! =)
bitinn` awayy at 7:32 AM
Wednesday, February 12, 2003at the beautiful moments we shared
im so happy so happy so happy. -jumps around- dont ask me why. i just am. smiles. smiles. smiles.
][jukebox][ kate winslet - what if. yeps. still.
][feeling][ flew over the moon. said hi to the stars. danced on cloud nine. =)
bitinn` awayy at 7:01 AM
Tuesday, February 11, 2003where everything was in perfect harmony
heaven is perfect purity
and god wants to purify his saints on earth
so they will enjoy heaven's atmosphere.
heaven is fullness of joy
and god desires to give joy
to his people on earth.
heaven is everlasting freedom
and god longs for his people
to have deliverance while on earth.
heaven is perfect wholeness
and god wants to heal
his people here on earth.
heaven is complete security
and god wants his people
to feel confident and secure here on earth.
heaven is fruitful and fulfillment
and god desires that his people
be fulflilled on earth.
-amazed- that was so beautiful dont you think? it's adapted from a divine revelation of heaven which may lent me. thanks girl. it really enchants me and takes my breath away. but as i read i read with fear. as i flip through the pages which described what the angels record in our books and what's in the storehouses of heaven for all of us, it ties up knots in my heart, ive no idea why. i mean i wont want to see, feel, hear, smell, and taste hell when i can be aware of all five of my senses in heaven. ohwells. im feeling the rush in me to pioneer deyi and get it over and done with. but today was a bad day. will go down on thur and fri. -frowns- why do they have to end school so early? anyways, had some fun accompanying valtoh to town to get her stuff and lav joined us. and i bought my shoelaces!!! -beamms- pink and purple. pretty pretty. -smiles- but we were like kinda broke cuz we wanted to eat at crystal jade, have pasta, or jap food. but when we looked at the menus we just went -slurrpp!- but knew we couldnt afford it. lol. so we settled for yoshinoya. wasnt that bad but after i had my meal i had ulcers on my tongue [it still hurts]. and i was whining all the way from taka to heeren where we took a neoprint together. -smiles- for the first time. and if i counted correctly, i saw nine butches in less than an hour in heeren. like whoah. -twitches eyebrows- i dont know how to react to that. but romans 1:24onwards... wells... hahas. why do i remember that verse so clearly? lol. oh! and just in case some people -glances over to puay penguin- doesnt remember what my cg no. is, im in neb thr[3]e!!! brr.
][jukebox][ kate winslet - what if
][feeling][ the biting sensation on my tongue
bitinn` awayy at 8:30 AM
Sunday, February 09, 2003and it will not go away
in my head I keep on looking back right back to the start
wondering what it was that made you change
gave and received shepherding tiday. -smiles- learnt alot i guess. and im falling in love with my pherd. -grinns- starting to admire jesse quite alot. she leads such a prayerful life. first time i had worship before shepherding. felt strange but good. =) she gives good suggestions to me too on certain stuff im struggling to make a decision with. im dropping physics after she discussed the pros and cons with me. it's always feelsgood to ask someone who just went through the same things and getting answers that make sense. lol. and she gave me chords to you are my world. -nods head- its a great song. its funny how i feel so comfortable telling her all my struggles even though it's the first time she shepherded me. gosh. i simply lovemypherd!
][jukebox][ kate winslet - what if
][feeling][ tired out in my mind.
bitinn` awayy at 7:50 AM
Saturday, February 08, 2003i just feel like burying myself now.
bitinn` awayy at 8:05 AM
Friday, February 07, 2003put on a brand-new shirt
getting all jittery bout the deco i put up today for tomms mvp service. it's the first time im doing everything alone. but i pulled joyce along with me to nexus today to help me. -chuckles- lili helped too. but the coordination stuff with the young adult deco group was so confusing. now i know how tedious it is to get all the deco right for a single service. -phew- and im not sure if this new concept of mine is going to turn out well. when liyan heard it she was pretty doubtful. -cringes- im really apprehensive. what if they didnt like it? then they'd take it down tomms morning and put up a new one rite? then... -cries- shant think that far. but i can't help feeling uneasy. but im a happy girl now! -beamms- got my long awaited sneakers ive been eyeing for a super long time. months and months ago. lol. thanks xiuhui for accompanying me. -grinns- and we caught a movie together. she was so cracked up by the show that she was laughing away like awoodbrige escapee. hees. confirmation's so-so. but i'm believing god for nine by march. grr... i still cant stop feeling nervous. or apprehensive. or excited. is this what they call mixed emotions? lol. finally the service ive been so so so so so looking forward to for some particular reason, is here! we're all gonna wear bball jerseys! oh! and... -grinns super wide- the screen's huge right? so the clip tomms should be v clear right? -winkks-
][jukebox][ tatu - all the things she said
][feeling][ it's there. -points upwards-
bitinn` awayy at 7:36 AM
Thursday, February 06, 2003how is it that guys have this ego thing to the extend that my tuition teacher doesnt want to hold a pink pencil? -rolls eyes- i had to search all over to get him another pencil so he could teach me. like whatever lorr. these few days have been teary days for me. lol. ive no answer as to why my eyes are wet and they hurt. -shrugs- tomms' gonna be sucha hectic day. sighs. but its kinda exciting cuz i'll be having my first shepherding session with jesse. ladidums. -beamms-
][jukebox][ stefanie sun - my story.your song
][feeling][ teary.
bitinn` awayy at 7:28 AM
```let me say.
just let me say
how much iloveu.
just let me live
in the shadow of your beauty.
just let me hear
your finest whispers.
til im found
completely surrendered.
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jesse's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```stringed.
::n.e.b.
::guestbook.
::alvin.
::ben.
::bryan.
::celine.
::christine.
::clarissa.
::deb.
::di.
::jas.
::jew.
::jiam.
::jiayi.
::jo.
::joe.
::joo.
::kaishi.
::kat.
::kenn.
::kinyip.
::lav.
::ling.
::luan.
::luanne.
::may.
::nette.
::puay.
::pei.
::rach.
::rei.
::sam.
::shubei.
::shux.
::soph.
::ting.
::valneo.
::valtoh.
::vien.
::wyn.
::xun.
::yeoks.
::yings.
::yogs.
::blogger.
```lookingback.
12/08/2002 - 12/14/2002
12/15/2002 - 12/21/2002
12/22/2002 - 12/28/2002
12/29/2002 - 01/04/2003
01/05/2003 - 01/11/2003
01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003
01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
02/02/2003 - 02/08/2003
02/09/2003 - 02/15/2003
02/16/2003 - 02/22/2003
02/23/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/02/2003 - 03/08/2003
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.
just let me say
how much iloveu.
just let me live
in the shadow of your beauty.
just let me hear
your finest whispers.
til im found
completely surrendered.
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jesse's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```stringed.
::n.e.b.
::guestbook.
::alvin.
::ben.
::bryan.
::celine.
::christine.
::clarissa.
::deb.
::di.
::jas.
::jew.
::jiam.
::jiayi.
::jo.
::joe.
::joo.
::kaishi.
::kat.
::kenn.
::kinyip.
::lav.
::ling.
::luan.
::luanne.
::may.
::nette.
::puay.
::pei.
::rach.
::rei.
::sam.
::shubei.
::shux.
::soph.
::ting.
::valneo.
::valtoh.
::vien.
::wyn.
::xun.
::yeoks.
::yings.
::yogs.
::blogger.
```lookingback.
12/08/2002 - 12/14/2002
12/15/2002 - 12/21/2002
12/22/2002 - 12/28/2002
12/29/2002 - 01/04/2003
01/05/2003 - 01/11/2003
01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003
01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
02/02/2003 - 02/08/2003
02/09/2003 - 02/15/2003
02/16/2003 - 02/22/2003
02/23/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/02/2003 - 03/08/2003
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.