Tuesday, December 31, 2002
never let me go
i wanna spend eternity with you
sick. on a new year's eve. how wonderful. how am i gonna conduct a proper cg tomms? well, i believe He'll strengthen me. =) got an idea of how the brothers conduct their cgs. thanks to sihan. anyways, happy new year to all.
new year resolutions
one. to be less bad-tempered and open and less serious[thanks sihan and xiaoting]
two. to let not emotions get in my way. focus! [thanks siewluan]
three. to not have a black face. smile more! =) [thanks sihan and jiayi]
four. to be more diligent [thanks siewluan and yings]
five. to be noisier [thanks yings]
six. to be more sensitive in my speech and stop hurting others with it. [thanks xiaoting]
seven. to love puay more. [thanks puay]
eight. to not let the past haunt me anymore. focus on the present. [thanks puay]
nine. know more bout the word of god and grow more. [thanks puay and ben]
ten. to not be so rash. [thanks soph]
eleven. read newspapers daily. [thanks sihan]
in addition from myself.
one. wear clean pinafores to school!
two. grow physically stronger and not fall sick easily.
three. to be more gentle and have more self control.
four. to ace my studies.
five. seize the day.
six. complete neb's part of CG404 and grow my group to a unit!
points to keep up
one:: grow fast and great leader[thanks siewluan]
two:: loving shepherd [ thanks soph, puay, siewluan and jiayi]
three:: humble [thanks puay but abit contradicting to pherd's =/]
four:: desire to serve God [ thanks soph, jiayi and puay for the examples too =)]
five:: giving spirit. [thanks puay]
six:: going to the extend to help people [thanks soph] and communicating well.[ thanks jiayi]
seven:: teachable. [thanks jiayi]
eight:: seek god and relying on him. [thanks jiayi]
nine:: willing to change when i realise im not doin well in any areas of my life/behavior/character. [thanks soph]
ten:: enthusiastic bout god. [thanks soph]
eleven:: concern bout others. [thanks soph]
twelve:: zealous and on fire for god. [thanks sihan]
thirteen:: compassionate, friendly and hospitable. [thanks sihan]
from my dearest pherd. thanks. =)
hey rons.
:) i've seen God done a wonderful work in ur life since the day you commit urself to Hope. ure very sincere to want to grow and u also desire for God alot and love his flock. ure rather artistic so use ur talent for God wisely.
you can improve on ur facial expression. :) and also in making a decision in doing things which u may not feeling like doing. for eg, maybe talking to non believers, or new believers, even if they're not in ur grp. learn to be more humble too. :) god bless.
][jukebox][ hosanna - thank you for the cross
][feeling][ sick yet happy.
bitinn` awayy at 8:26 AM
Monday, December 30, 2002so you came up to me. with that hip chick attitude of yours and the ever so familiar "hey ron" from you. but this time, it felt different. handed me a card saying you didnt forget me, signing off at the bottom right of the page with a name, date, day and time. two smileys and three simple words, all the best, which wasnt the exact three words on the other lil notes you showered me with. it seemed as though you sprinkled a lil animosity and hostility in that simple white envelope. if i could, id tell you i miss you. helluva lot. ive somuchsomuch to tell you. wanna share how i flew up to the sky wanting to reach a shining star for you yet only to find you far away from me. wanna show you the graph paper where you wrote words crossing boxes on it saying, "YOU are all i need to get me thru" stuck on my table top. wanna give you a warm big hug and ask how have you been my friend. ack. at first i wanna tell you so much but now, all i wanna tell you is, imissyou. aint naming you. you know who you are. well, can i still write notes to you and pop by your class every now and then?
bitinn` awayy at 7:35 AM
Sunday, December 29, 2002you think youre alone there in your silent storm
but ive seen the tears youve cried
falling down and trying to drown
the flame of hope inside
let me tell you now, tell you now
when youre walking in the dead of night
and your soul is churning
when your hope seems out of sight
keep the candle burning
all it takes is one steady heart
in a world that's turning
shine a light and pierce the dark
keep the candle burning
when youre down and youre discouraged
when the darkness clouds your view
youve got to gather up your courage
you know the Lord is gonna see you through
let me tell you now, tell you now
when youre walking in the dead of night
and your soul is churning
when your hope seems out of sight
keep the candle burning
all it takes is one steady heart
in a world that's turning
shine a light and pierce the dark
keep the candle burning
one ray of light always breaks through
follow wherever He takes you
wherever He takes you
bitinn` awayy at 8:40 AM
and all that is within me will rise to glorify
yelps! had the most horrible nightmare of my life. it's not scary. it's the person who makes me shudder. -cringes- it can actually be a sweet dream but nono!!! not when that person's the prince charming in the dream. =/ slept late last night, or rather, this morning. was fooling around with my sisters and jessica. hahas. so i was the "ghostly lady" and was scaring all of them. neoneo was screaming away, in the middle of the night! hahas. reminded me of the times when all three of us were younger and we pretended to sleep til our parents have slept then we'll wake up and play silly games. when we grew sick of that we played blackjack. hahas. turned our room into a gambling den. then we'd all be hungry and sneak down to the kitchen and my elder sis would cook maggi mee while neoneo and i would be playing playstation. well, that's when we were kids. but now, hahas, the irony. i was arguin with neoneo today cuz of cash at the mrt station today. puay came over today and we talk talk and ate and she helped me pack my room. messy messy room. and puay is sososo picky when it comes to food. anyways thanks girl for accompanying me. =) im a
][jukebox][ integrity music - every move i make
][feeling][ joyjoyjoy all over. -smiles for Him-
bitinn` awayy at 8:36 AM
Saturday, December 28, 2002how the pieces fall into place
it just wouldnt rhyme without You
how words spill out from my mouth
like the flow of the blood in my veins
like love spills from my heart
and at Your command i shall give
like i have never given before
for Your words tell all so tender
if i would and i could
i would never stop hearing
what i see in You is nothing short of glorious
for You i'll release every barier i have set upon my heart
the risk is risky indeed, but well worth, i believe
not yet shall i fall but i see it coming fast
fast and hard, like the intensity of Your beauty
id scream the most beautiful name into the wind
and let it carry my voice off
somehow i know You'd hear me
hear me now
You enchant me
such a love i never thought existed
show me the wonders,
i'll be ever grateful
untwist my twisted memories,
i'll weave them with Yours
create a great tapestry of color
a vibrance my eyes have never before seen
a riot of color in a dreary grey world.
iloveHimsomuch. enjoyedtoday. eelee's right. this holidays we're doing things that are eternal. -grinns- anyways, who's going back to school on monday for the dreaded spring cleaning for four hours? =/
][jukebox][point of grace - all that i need
][feeling][ joyful.
bitinn` awayy at 9:02 AM
Thursday, December 26, 2002but now she says she's loving him no matter what
will you hear her prayer from above
from the mighty throne you're upon?
will you cover her up with your love
and bring her her long awaited dawn?
][jukebox][ josh groban - to where you are
][feeling][ tired up in my mind.
bitinn` awayy at 9:35 PM
Tuesday, December 24, 2002she would loosen her grasp on this delicate reality.
im going away for a few days. need these days to slow down life. stop and think. -sighs- i ought not to feel this way on a beautiful Christmas.
][jukebox][ blue - like a friend
][feeling][ weird.
bitinn` awayy at 10:04 AM
Monday, December 23, 2002if He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
whenever you want to talk, He listens.
He can live anywhere in the universe,
but He chose, your heart.
face it friend, He is crazy about you.
ripped off the forwarded email from jiayi. -grinns- sorry. found that far sweeter than hunny. just touched down home from caroling. geez. this time seems, err... not as interesting as the previous one. but we raised more than a thousand all in all! whoa. am so proud of northeast. but service today was better than saturday's. the dance was much much better or perhaps it was because we were viewing from above. the sound ministry did a better job for the drama and ps jeff was the same ole' humorous guy. =) it has been a real tiring day. totally zonked. goodnight. -smiles contentedly-
][jukebox][ westlife - written in the stars
][feeling][ contented.
bitinn` awayy at 7:05 AM
Saturday, December 21, 2002go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
and come back to me when you notice how you feel
whoa. caroling was a blast mens! we were rolling in big bucks. like northeast caroling group a sang only for one and a half minutes at eight houses but got five hundred and twenty nine dollars! -grinnswidewide- but im totally zonked now. couldnt slack at all during caroling cause was in the middle of the front row kinda thing and eelee was saying my smile looks forced when im tired. all of us were thirsty like anything but thank god for the brothers who carried the cooler along. hehes. but strangely, me and my dear were so hyped up on our walk to reimin's house. hehes. btw, did i tell you girl that you looked fab with my pair of jeans? hehs. you can have them =) anyways, we were singing and singing still as we walked. well, leonard gave us the weird look and said how we could still be so lively. hahas. and we told him cause we're still young. but he said all he was looking forward to was the food. hehes. xiaoting and soph! you guys have a partner! hahas. nono. partners... cause alex, aaron and people packed food home still. hahas.
xmas service was -thumbs up!- hoho. stanley looked really funny in that clip. altar call was overwhelming. went down with kat. know that there's a great celebration up there in heaven mens! now the important part is follow up and retention. brr. (reminds me of the northeast cheer) but for now im just totally zapped outta energy with a sore throat too and my legs are just giving way.
][jukebox][ linda ronstadt/james ingram - somewhere out there
][feeling][ zonked.
bitinn` awayy at 11:14 AM
Friday, December 20, 2002but i don't know how to get out of it.
lousy confirmation night. brr. (>_<) feeling sick too. -sighs-
][jukebox][ david meece - we are the reason
][feeling][ sick.
bitinn` awayy at 6:40 AM
Thursday, December 19, 2002it's quiet in her
now move over cos there's nothing but soul
i know. He's just up there playing hard to get. i'll just have to pull through it no matter what it takes. -breathes-
][jukebox][ cumbia kings - say it once, say it twice
][feeling][ lost.
bitinn` awayy at 8:50 AM
Wednesday, December 18, 2002and you pay me no attention, do you?
yeayyeayyeay! -whoops!- i can go for unit cg-cum-nb party tomms! went to visit phyllis today. erm puay's contact? hees. so glad she lives a road across me. watched talkingcock over at her house. was a pretty lame and corny show. then went to visit mama, jeniffer, amos and nicole. ooh. they grow really fast. and now they can shout "iloveyouyiyi!!!" hehes. socutesocutesocute. ok. am gonna fill the whole rown in nexus with people from my group this sat. -chants- i wanna be a cl cl cl cl cl cl. i wanna be a cl cl cl cl cl cl. -grinns-
][jukebox][ miss saigon - the last night of the world
][feeling][ joyful.
bitinn` awayy at 6:54 AM
Monday, December 16, 2002i want to see your face
i want to know you more
day at home wasnt that bad. revised some amath before eelee, puay, jiayi and dear came. -grinns- we talked lots and watched harry potter and ate kfc. you know what guys? they made my day. -grinns- love you all alotalotalotalot!!! after they left my eyes were like glued to the tv. for three hours. ive never been so stuck to that box before. oh wells, the new channel eight serial was haha, hilarious. well, thank god for you puay!!! im getting on with the fund raising stuff. whoah. wonder if it sells. -scratches head- alrights. better stop before my mom comes back and screams and i dont get to go out tomms. oh btw, god spoke to me with the posture of unity point in the previous sermon. which means, im gonna unite with my sis in prayer!!! hahas. goodbye evilgoogoofellawicha devil!!! -grinns widewidewide-
][jukebox][ sonicflood - in the secret
][feeling][ crazy. (>_<)
bitinn` awayy at 6:39 AM
yeok, soph, fer you guys. -grinns-
bitinn` awayy at 3:45 AM
Sunday, December 15, 2002ok this is funny:
Mormonism says: The Mormon church uses the Bible and the Book of Mormon as their primary authority, with the addition of the Doctrine and Covenants and The Pearl of Great Price.
"We believe the Bible to be the word of God, as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God." -Articles of Faith, 8.
Christianity says: The Bible alone is authoritative, and Joseph Smith is not recognized as a prophet.
alrights mens!!! -chuckles-
bitinn` awayy at 9:13 PM
that i long to whisper in your ear
ever escape my lips to write love letters in calligraphy
across your skin like i have always intended them to?
did some catching up on my physics today. like finally. then did some furnishing to my room. It's really pretty now. ive a cupboard of memories. -grinns- theres like photos all over it. iloveit mens! then went for a swim cause its so so so so boring. painfully boring. like i havent swam for gosh... two years? hehs. but well at least it was just me and my sis in the pool so twas fine. and twas at night so no one was sharing the pool for the exception of this couple. -rolls eyeballs- shant elaborate. anyways, had helluva great time. but for now, im just superbly grounded by my mom. -growls-
][jukebox][ charlene d'angelo - ive never been to me
][feeling][ angry.
bitinn` awayy at 8:23 AM
Saturday, December 14, 2002the meaning hidden deep within the casual melody
God is faithful! matthew 6:33-34 is a verse i really claimed. i really wanna seek his righteousness first in everything i do despite of any trouble. today's sermon was really useful to me! god really knows how to speak to my heart. the point about bringing our problems to him really struck a guilt chord in me. like ps jeff always says, "do your best and let god do the rest" whoah. i really repented and was like screaming for god so i can give all my problems to him. my heart's just filled with thanksgiving. im so blessed today! at first i counted on my own strength and worried but the holy spirit brought up a point in me taught in faith camp that we really need to rely fully on god. ooh. i feel so refreshed in him. saw new faces on stage today. ethan was playing the bass instead of david. nice change. -grinns- looking at the region photo below i cant wait to get the faith church region photo we took then we can see how much we've truly grown. just comparing the girls in the neb conqueror photo alone to the last camp, we've grown by thirteen people excluding those part-timers. whoo! anyways, i really wanna thank a few people namely eelee, pherd!, puay, rach, jiayi, soph and xiaoting. thanks for all your comfort and encouragement!!! really love you guys and thank god for you all. -grinns- ooh...
p.s.soph and xiaoting i'll get back at you guys for the kiss you all gave me each yesterday. =?
][jukebox][ sandy lam - zhi shao hai you ni (jew, remember this song? -winkks-)
][feeling][ thankful.
bitinn` awayy at 8:25 AM
it's so exciting to see how much we've grown since this global community camp
yet it's disheartening to see some faces not here anymore ='(
bitinn` awayy at 4:48 AM
Friday, December 13, 2002mothers are very important to children. they provide the lifeblood, the mind energy, and the "soul food" that every child needs in order to flourish. fathers show us how to survive. mothers teach us how to blossom and flourish. the mother must teach, nurture, guide, and provide the spiritual support system that the soul requires to unfold. when a child does not have a mother, some portion of the mind, the soul, and the life of the child remains in a constant state of yearning and want. what the child wants is to be fed and loved in a way that only a mother can love. only a mother can bring forth the grace, mercy, beauty and gentleness of the spirit. the spirit of God. the spirit of mothering energy is present in every woman. whether she knows it or not, a woman is a mother, simply by virtue of the fact that she is a woman.
when a woman does not know she is a mother, or how to mother, the children around her become lost. she is not sensitive to them or their needs. her words are spoken harshly. her actions are abrupt and abrasive. she is authoritarian. she knows the rule of mothering but not the grace. the grace of the mother's love will break the rules, when it is necessary, in order to nourish a child. in the face of an authoritarian mother, a child's growth is stunted. when a child has an unfolded heart, it is too difficult, too painful for her to express how she feels, or what she needs. unexpressed feelings and needs lead to anger and fear.
when a woman has not touched the part of her spirit that is God, she cannot offer God to her children. she cannot give love, perhaps because she has not received love. she follows the rules that say that love, loving and the mercy of love are weaknesses. when a woman with a closed heart is placed in the role of a mother, she cant be anything but weak.
ripped off a book. iloveyoumom. still.
bitinn` awayy at 8:30 AM
a voice in my head
a word runs through
a song plays on
leave this place
let everything go
go back home now
here you dont belong
He's up there
go search for Him
cry in His arms
then it'll be eternity
take me home
wipe away my tears
draw a smile on me
wash my blood away
bitinn` awayy at 6:24 AM
with all my heart adore you
let me hear your voice
the gentle whisper of your voice
the devil's doing his work. cool. but guess what, im not moved. got another huge lecture from my mom. im officially grounded. and she's gonna throw my piano, guitars, electone and clavinova away. how exciting. -rolls eyes- just cause me and my sis missed piano lessons. cool.
defination of grounded:: to prohibit from taking part in some usual activities.
in other words, no quiet time, no prayer meet, no word for life, no services, no tuitions, no piano lessons, no organ lessons, no evaxing, no caregroups, no NEW meeting, no matthew partys. i'll be locked at home. gosh. imaging the thick silver chain at the door. -rolls eyeballs- im pist.
][jukebox][ hillsong - in the silence
][feeling][ pist.
bitinn` awayy at 2:15 AM
Thursday, December 12, 2002what more do you want from here?
yeay! sunny day... driving the.. clouds away! -grinns- two deyi converts! -whoops- i can hear the angels singing and playing their harps and lyres up there rejoicing in heaven! xiuhui has really done a great job! and she has made my confirmation fourteen for this saturday! so love my sheeps. =) i spent most of my time today on the phone mens. sheesh. ive put up the camp photos already. its all below but the collection aint complete. the rest are kinda blur. but oh wells, if any of you guys want them you can tell me. we went evaxing today at amk station an had an interesting encounter with some police. hahas. david was telling us what to do if they approached us and we shouldnt gather because it's illegal gathering haha. hilarious. am gonna sleep so i wont be late for qt tomms. but before sleeping am gonna bug my mum bout our regional house and bug my dad for cash. =)
][jukebox][ christina aguilera - beautiful
][feeling][ excited.
bitinn` awayy at 7:15 AM
bitinn` awayy at 3:50 AM
bitinn` awayy at 3:31 AM
the two monkeys at camp! -grinns- i was on jiayi?!
bitinn` awayy at 2:15 AM
Wednesday, December 11, 2002it lives, inside of you.
im locked, inside your prison.
what went wrong? -cries-
][jukebox][ hillsong - breathe on me
][feeling][ dejected.
bitinn` awayy at 7:38 AM
Tuesday, December 10, 2002In love? for You?
yes.
urh. supposed to be an enjoyable day at my house together with my pherd and sheeps and exsheep and sis. but my mom ruined my day. grr. she's just like pms-ing and dad's just like menopausing. urh. the devil really really really knows when to attack. -glares at him- shoo away! alrights. im starting on my homework for sure soon. really soon. promise.
][jukebox][ westlife - reason for living
][feeling][ sad.
bitinn` awayy at 8:31 AM
Monday, December 09, 2002too marvellous for words
too wonderful for comprehension
like nothing ever seen nor heard
argh. feeling so achy all over. wanted to do some studying today but was too caught up in writing encouragement cards. =) slept around four last night. or rather, this morning. hahas. was catching up in reading the word. im supposed to be over and done with the bible at least once but i still have twenty more books to go!!! =/ will really start to be faithful in reading it from tonight and get back to writing my jounal consistantly. -nods head-
][jukebox][ steven curtis chapman - when love takes you in
][feeling][ achy
bitinn` awayy at 6:26 AM
```let me say.
just let me say
how much iloveu.
just let me live
in the shadow of your beauty.
just let me hear
your finest whispers.
til im found
completely surrendered.
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jesse's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```stringed.
::n.e.b.
::guestbook.
::alvin.
::ben.
::bryan.
::celine.
::christine.
::clarissa.
::deb.
::di.
::jas.
::jew.
::jiam.
::jiayi.
::jo.
::joe.
::joo.
::kaishi.
::kat.
::kenn.
::kinyip.
::lav.
::ling.
::luan.
::luanne.
::may.
::nette.
::puay.
::pei.
::rach.
::rei.
::sam.
::shubei.
::shux.
::soph.
::ting.
::valneo.
::valtoh.
::vien.
::wyn.
::xun.
::yeoks.
::yings.
::yogs.
::blogger.
```lookingback.
12/08/2002 - 12/14/2002
12/15/2002 - 12/21/2002
12/22/2002 - 12/28/2002
12/29/2002 - 01/04/2003
01/05/2003 - 01/11/2003
01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003
01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
02/02/2003 - 02/08/2003
02/09/2003 - 02/15/2003
02/16/2003 - 02/22/2003
02/23/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/02/2003 - 03/08/2003
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.
just let me say
how much iloveu.
just let me live
in the shadow of your beauty.
just let me hear
your finest whispers.
til im found
completely surrendered.
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jesse's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```stringed.
::n.e.b.
::guestbook.
::alvin.
::ben.
::bryan.
::celine.
::christine.
::clarissa.
::deb.
::di.
::jas.
::jew.
::jiam.
::jiayi.
::jo.
::joe.
::joo.
::kaishi.
::kat.
::kenn.
::kinyip.
::lav.
::ling.
::luan.
::luanne.
::may.
::nette.
::puay.
::pei.
::rach.
::rei.
::sam.
::shubei.
::shux.
::soph.
::ting.
::valneo.
::valtoh.
::vien.
::wyn.
::xun.
::yeoks.
::yings.
::yogs.
::blogger.
```lookingback.
12/08/2002 - 12/14/2002
12/15/2002 - 12/21/2002
12/22/2002 - 12/28/2002
12/29/2002 - 01/04/2003
01/05/2003 - 01/11/2003
01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003
01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
02/02/2003 - 02/08/2003
02/09/2003 - 02/15/2003
02/16/2003 - 02/22/2003
02/23/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/02/2003 - 03/08/2003
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.